Thursday, November 25, 2010

A Vision

I recently read this book by Jenna Woginrich, and she is my new hero. She recently wrote about writing your goals and dreams, so here goes.

I am tired of work sometimes that doesn't seem to go anywhere. I toil everyday and everyday it is the same. Maybe it is the stress and the mental fatigue, but I am exhausted and sick more often than I or my husband like. And that tells us that something's wrong. It makes me think of wanting to escape and do something else. Don't get me wrong: I don't hate my present jobs--I love being around my students! But I feel no matter what I do, the situation doesn't change. And I don't know about other people, but that fruitlessness is something that I can't deal with forever. I question my goal of being a teacher because of it: the system, I feel, is harming rather than helping, and that I cannot deal with, nor stomach. But I have to: it is my job, and it is slowly killing my spirit.

So before I lose my pluck and put my head down again, I will say my intention. I want a homestead of our own, with a dog, a cat, chickens, pygmy goats, vegetable and fruit plants, and maybe Angora rabbits, pigs and bees someday. I want to learn how to make butter, cheese, bread, soap and candles, as well as have homemade kombucha; live as off the grid or independently as possible. I want to learn how to play my Strumstick, and play it well. I want to learn how to knit and sew, to make socks and sweaters and beanies for my husband, and make dresses for myself. I want to make cards and paper products (with my rubber stamps and letter press) to supplement the farm, then sell this with our extra eggs and dairy, maybe some candles and soap, and maybe even fruits and vegetables and honey, as well as the occasional knitted product in a farmer's market. Then maybe we can even talk about children, if our bodies are blessed to have them: milky-coffee skin with brown or hazel eyes and black hair, and happy, inquisitive spirits who fear nothing and welcome everything.

And even as I want to eke out a farm existence, I still like to shop, or at least look. But if I can make it myself, then that's what I prefer. I am still a girl who likes shops and working out in a gym, as well as getting a good haircut and color, and the occasional pedicure and massage, but the crowded, expensive city with no room to homestead is beginning to frustrate me and lose its charm on me.

For now, I want this dog. Her name is Jelly Bean. She is a 6-month old rescue dog. Our friend Lisa told us about her. I sent in my application to have her, but I guess I heard wrong about our landlord being ok with dogs; I am still trying to persuade him to think otherwise. I hope I will be successful. Latest update: I'd like to meet this kitty, too. His name is Kai, and hopefully my husband won't be allergic to him, otherwise we have to look at this breeder who charges $600 per kitty. So yeah, methinks rescue animals are still best, costs included!

Let's start with Jelly Bean, and hope my husband and I can get out and hopefully find satisfaction, as well as our place in the sun.

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