A Registry is Born!

Hello, everyone!

I was on the interwebs and through Offbeatbride saw a cool website called Deposit a Gift: it is a registry site that lets you put whatever you want, essentially a cash registry. I think that's pretty sweet. Here's ours. It's mousebee dot mydagsite dot com.

Whee!

Back to regular planning.

The Here and Now

It's been a busy week for me and Jess. Over the weekend, we went to the farmer's market and saw baby goats(!) then went to a Japanese festival and an arts market: we saw sword and taiko drum demo's at the former, and had snow cones and a vegan burrito as well as saw anarchist books at the latter. We also went to a nice "Texan-Tuscan" restaurant called Stella Sola near us and had good food, crab carbonara being one of the dishes: phenomenal, if you can believe it! Oh, Jess also made rabbit stew today and it was good, though I cringed every time I would spit out a tiny bone. Oh, man: such are times when I think of becoming vegan again, though I recently bought some vegan books for brunch and baked goodies: I still like to think of veganism, and am still very open to it: in fact, I prefer to make vegan stuff. We've also been dipping our hand into growing herbs, and so far so good. We've got a tomato plant (but no tomatoes yet), rosemary, sage, basil, a pepper plant in our apartment, and oregano, dill, spinach and basil at the garden box below. In the future, I would still like to have chickens and goats to raise, maybe make my own kombucha and yogurt with Jess' help--grown your own, I strongly say.

We also went to city hall downtown today to apply for our marriage license, but it turns out that we applied for a marriage license too soon-- the period is 3-30 days, not 90! So we have to go back either end of April or beginning of May so that it's late enough for the license to still be valid for Jess' family's and my Mom's visit when we'll hopefully get it officiated (ie legally married May 21, 2010--my mom wanted my birthday but it was the middle of the week: this way, Jess' family can attend, and besides, I was told it might be safer to have it on another day besides a birthday), as well as bring the form we got from our marriage prep class. I was wrestling with it over the weekend: like this is real, and it's SERIOUS: as in not going out for dinner, or washing clothes, MARRIAGE, OK?! i.e. committing to spending the rest of your life (at least in theory and hopefully so) with one person, who is Jess! Am I ready? Do I want this? Can I do this? So I turned the tables and asked him (of course), and he said he still wants it. So I thought about it in turn, and yes, I think this is still what I want. I don't think no one will ever be ready for it, and if you are, you are either limiting it, or I don't know what! But some fear/trepidation is healthy, I think, as nothing is ever certain, least of all marriage-- sharing your life with someone else, and building dreams and a life together. So as long as you are willing to try and be committed, hopefully, this enterprise will work. I pray it will. I will try my best to trust in this (and trust is no small feat for me to do).

Apart from this, it's been work and work, with kickboxing classes at the gym in between to be fit and stress-free. By the way, the elementary school I work at in Houston, Garden Oaks Elementary, is back in the process for applying for a grant to be all-Montessori, so that's hopefully a good thing: after working at a Montessori classroom, I can't imagine going back to traditional setting, except maybe small groups for Special Ed, but even then. So with the potential grant, I hope I can apply for certification. I hope it works out!

As for this summer, I will probably stay in the US, for monetary reasons and just to relax before everything gets crazy. We're also planning to visit my Dad's side of the family in Toronto this summer for a wedding, so yeah. As much as I miss Europe, but I've already been to Asia this year, and that's a lot for my system as it is: I think it's best to stay sharp and stay in the same time zone for the coming school year, where hopefully I will still have a job!

I also got a copy of Food Inc (as well as signed their petition for better food in schools, woot!), and maybe Jess and I will watch it soon. I'm really excited to watch this Irish animated movie called "The Secret of Kells:" it's supposedly pretty good. I'm also lately into this mineral make-up called "Bare Escentuals." I ordered some and am really excited to try it. I dumped my old make-up as old stuff develop bacteria over time, so I said why not. I am also bidding on eBay as it can be cheaper, like Lululemon capris for working out: they are primarily a yoga company, but their fabric is so nice and flattering, and the colors are pretty too. I'm also looking into this brand of shoes advocating Barefoot technology without looking too extreme like Vibram Five Fingers, and they're called Vivo Barefoot by Terra Plana. And there's Skullcandy for music stuff, and maybe some Brooks and Moving Comfort/Her Room for physical activity, and maybe some Earth Shoes/Dansko/Simple Shoes in the future? Of course, there's always books/videos I am pining for on Amazon, as well as other things in other sites, but to each its own time, especially with my tiny salary! I sometimes lament to Jess that I like stuff too much, but hopefully that's normal, and hopefully I'm not too too much into getting stuff: I try to buy good stuff, but I try to limit it to what I really want, and for cheaper, if possible. That's what I actually told Jess in response to this video called "The Story of Stuff" of how it's an endless cycle of wanting something to working to get it then buying and repeat; I think it's fun to buy stuff and want things: I think it shows we're human: it helps the economy, too. However, I also do believe there is a limit, and if we can buy "reuse" by getting stuff from friends that they don't like but we do, or buying stuff from people (like on eBay) that they no longer like but we do, then it's kinda limiting the amount of excess stuff that's out there. There is that saying: "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I believe in that, and I believe that leads to a healthy economy of sorts.

As for wedding stuff, I still need to fix the invites, and the marriage license and am waiting on the dress here in Houston. But apart from that, we got the venue/food, the photographer/videographer; I have my birth certificate and baptismal certificate (yay!); we have definite ideas how to do our wedding favors, are working on the invites, the church's permission (especially as we're overseas and are a mixed-religion couple), and am still tweaking the flowers, as well as hair and make-up. As for jewelry, I'm hoping pearls will be ok with my Mom as Jess' abuela (maternal grandmom) is lending me her Panamanian mosquetas (pearl brooch and earrings). I've always wanted to wear pearls, and so what if pearls=tears: what if those tears are happy ones? So there. Hopefully I don't have to do doves too: poor doves, and hello potential bird poop on clothes! I'm still thinking about the bouquet: maybe I don't have to toss it (I would like not to), but Jess said I have to think of something as replacement as people are used to tradition: in place of the old, they need a new one.

So this is my news-tidbit/s thus far. I feel like the calm before the storm, though underneath it is a frenetic juggling act that bursts every now and then to make sure that we're still floating; I just hope that everything will be ok, and that it is so.

May this find you well.

Legal Stuff

So apparently getting my birth certificate is harder than it looks.

I need to have it notarized, unless I want to go to San Diego.

Then there's getting a marriage license in Houston. No blood test/medical certificate needed, nor witnesses, but the license must be procured 3 days-30 days before the ceremony, and couple must go together 30 minutes before the county office closes?

Then the ceremony must have a justice of the peace or a licensed/ordained Christian priest/Jewish rabbi. We don't have an officiant yet (for this or for the wedding), but Jess and I believe--at least for the wedding part-- that he/she must be someone we know personally, i.e. have personal history with. There's also the option to do it in Austin.

Then there's the name-changing deal. You have to have the post-ceremonial paper first, though.

Oi vey. I'm a bit confused.

Some Details

The following are templates of what we're thinking of using; feel free to use them for your own ceremonies :) The Madlibs I actually copied visually from a TheKnot.com article image--with a few adjustments :) So I'm quite proud I was able to do that :) The vows I found from a book entitled "Joining Hands and Hearts" by Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb--again, with a little tweak here and there. :) Anyway, without further ado:

MAD LIBS!

~*Wedding Advice for Jess and Therese*~

We are __(adjective)___ for Jess and Therese. They are the most ___(adjective)____ __(plural noun)__ and we wish them nothing less than __(adjective)____ __(noun)__ for the rest of their lives together. Our best advice? Don’t forget to ___(advice)___ before you __(verb)___ and __(advice)__ after the __(noun)__. Jess should always try to___(verb)___ Therese’s __(noun)___ and Therese should always try to ___(verb)____ Jess’ ___(noun)___ We wish you __(amount)___ years of happiness and __(adjective)___ ___(noun)___.

~*Do share your advice with us by filling in the blanks and handing this sheet to us before you leave. Thank you!*~


VOWS WE ARE CONSIDERING:

Jess’

Illuminata by Marianne Williamson

With this ring, I give you my promise that from this day forward
you shall not walk alone.
May my heart be your shelter and my arms be your home.
May we always be blessed.
May we walk together through all things.
May you feel deeply loved, for indeed you are.
May you always see your innocence in my eyes.
With this ring, I give you my heart. I have no greater gift to give.
I promise I shall do my best.
I shall always try.
I feel so honored to call you my spouse.
I feel so blessed to call you mine.
May we feel this joy forever.


Therese’s

Selection 3 by Roy Croft

I love you, not only for what you are
But for what I am when I am with you.
~*~
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself
But for what you are making of me.
~*~
I love you, for the parts of me that you bring out;
I love you, for putting your hand into my heart
and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can’t help
dimly seeing there,
and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings
that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
~*~
I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life
not a tavern but a temple; out of works of my every day
not a reproach but a song.

Progress List

Mahalo everyone!

Just in case I haven't told y'all yet, our wedding dates are:
Jan. 15, 2011 in Manila, Philippines
Sept. 10, 2011 in Austin, Texas (USA)

Well, so far, we have:
-cufflinks! (they were Papa's, Jess' maternal grandfather, are made of ivory and came from his stint in Japan)
-my veil
-my shoes
-my evening bag
-undies stuff, including hosiery
-Jess' grandmother's lace and her mother-in-law's tatting
-wax seal!
-hairagami!

We have committed to:
-rings (in gold)
-a "headpiece"
-cake toppers
-my rehearsal dress
-shawls and ties for us and the entourage
-paper punches!
-rubber stamps!
-photography services--for Austin
-a "suit and dress" carry-on bag

We will borrow Jess' abuela's:
-Panamanian mosqueta brooch and earrings

We are more or less decided, but still ironing out
-my wedding dress with Morgan
-ceremony and reception location (the food comes with it) --for Austin; Mary the Queen Parish and Hotel Sofitel, respectively, for Manila
-cake-- for Austin (we're thinking berry chantilly/carrot cake/chocolate decadence)
-favors-- for Austin; honey-roasted peanuts for Manila
-flowers--for Austin
-hair and make-up--for Austin
-guest books
-post stamps
-photo booth app called PartyBooth
-MadLibs (and vows)!

No idea yet on
-music (though there are some songs I want to be played)
-officiant
-invites (though there is a skeleton plan and sketch complete with tentative wording)
-registry/ies (though I heard of this)
-rehearsal dinner (maybe Salt Lick?)
-guest accommodations (maybe Verde Camp?)
-marriage license and name change ie legalese?
-Jess' shoes
-house (for September!)--with space for plants, and goats and chickens, and maybe a dog!
-my Montessori/teaching status
-honeymoon plans

So this is where we are right now. I hope it all works out. I hope we can do this, and that we are doing it well, and right.

Mouse

....was baptized here, 25 years ago. She has since called them for an updated copy of her baptismal certificate to give to the religious powers in Manila for her wedding there next year. It will be coming in the mail very soon, yay!

The Checklist

Taken from Ariel of Offbeatbride.com:

Finally, a checklist for offbeat brides! Obviously, no checklist can work for everyone, but this one is hopefully a bit more slanted toward offbeat concerns. That said, it assumes you're got about a seven month engagement — some of you are waaay longer, and some of you manage to do it all in three months. Your mileage may vary. So, now it's time to print this out and start checking the boxes!

First things first:

• Sit down with your partner and figure out general vision for wedding. Indoors? Outdoors? Silly? Formal?
• Decide on a budget and figure who might be helping. Choose wisely, grasshopper, and remember that if family pays, family may want to control.
• If you're going for a potluck-style wedding, start talking to friends and family about who might want to help with different parts of the wedding.
• Pick wedding date and time, and finalize after okaying with important guests, location, or officiant.
• If you're hiring vendors, start doing your homework on what services you'll need, and who can provide it.
• Buy a copy of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides :)

As soon as you know what you're doing:

• Scout out venues and book one as soon as you can.
• Make preliminary guest list and decide on your wedding's approximate size. Get lists from both sets of parents, too.
• Start talking to caterers, if you're using one.
• Start a notebook/file folder to house all your wedding-planning paperwork in one place.
• If you're doing a wedding party, choose your peeps.
• If you're doing a caterer, pick one and determine price per head and menu.
• Start looking at dresses.
• Start investigating any ethnic customs or cultural traditions you might want to incorporate into your ceremony or reception.
• Decide on and meet with your officiant to discuss ceremony structure.
• If you plan to use frequent flyer miles to travel to your honeymoon destination, book your flight now.

Six months before wedding (or something similar)

• Finalize the guest list.
• Find an officiant who suits your style and spirit.
• Consider music at your reception. Even if you're not doing dancing, some background tunes are nice.
• Narrow down your gown choices and make a final decision.
• If you're doing a gift registry, start registering for gifts.
• Think about how you might want to wear your hair.
• Figure out who's making your cake, cupcakes, wedding pie, etc.
• Lock down photography — even if it's a friend, get a solid commitment.
• Figure out if you're doing bridesmaid dresses (color, style, etc).
• Figure out flowers. If you're hiring someone, send a deposit to reserve their services.
• Make sure everyone helping with the wedding knows what you're expecting of them.
• Send Save the Dates (aka STD's) to guests via postcard or email or even just calling.

Several months before wedding

• Confirm your cake (or non-cake, cupcake, etc) plans.
• If you're doing a wedding party, figure out what everyone's wearing.
• Lock down your wedding dress and your partner's attire
• Book ceremony musicians and send deposit.
• Work on invitation wording and design.
• Finalize menu and service details with caterer.
• Launch your wedsite, if you're doing one.

A couple months before your wedding

• If you're doing flowers with a florist, lock it down with them.
• If you're renting stuff (tables, chairs, tents, farm animals) confirm it with the vendors.
• Book rehearsal-dinner site, if you're doing one.
• Figure out where you're sleeping on your wedding night, and make reservations if necessary.
• Compile packages for out-of-town guests with hotel reservation and city information, and send 'em out via snail mail or email.
• Book your honeymoon flights (if not using frequent flyer miles) and make all your other travel reservations.
• If you haven't registered yet, be sure to do so before any upcoming prewedding parties.
• Consider specific ceremony and reception decoration needs like a huppah, aisle runner, etc.
• Purchase or make your invitations.
• Start addressing invitations — aim to send them out at the two-month mark.
• Talk to people you’d want to do special performances or readings as part of the ceremony.
• Get anything you need for an international honeymoon (passport, birth certificate, visas, vaccinations, etc.).
• Send out invitations.

Two months before your wedding:

• Work on vows, particularly if you're writing your own.
• Research local marriage license requirements.
• Make sure the wedding party has purchased their outfits and accessories.
• Arrange wedding-day transportation for you, your wedding party, and guests (as needed).
• Snag wedding bands.
• If you're doing favors, buy them now or else get crafting!

Six weeks out

• As you receive presents, be sure to update and/or add items to your registry list and record the gifts you get.
• Confirm reservations for out-of-town guests.
• Arrange parking for the reception.
• Order liquor, wine and/or champagne if they're not included in the catering contract.
• Make sure you've got all your accessories like veil and shoes.
• Begin writing the ceremony program if you are having one.
• Tell your partner you love them at least once a day as things get increasingly crazy.
• Do you want a guest book? 'Coz now's the time to get one.
• Set aside some time to write thank-you notes for gifts received at the bridal shower.
• Finalize vows.
• Make sure your wedding outfits fit both of you.

One month out:

• Do trial runs of various vanity routines (hair, make-up, henna, tattoos, whatever); schedule wedding-day appointments.
• Finish and print ceremony programs, if you're doing 'em.
• Get marriage license and make appointments for blood tests (if necessary). Check when the license expires.
• If you're doing an iPod reception, work on your playlist. If not, work on a list of "must-play" (and "must-not play") songs for your DJ or band. Back up your music and the rest of your hard drive while you're at it.
• Discuss music with ceremony musicians and agree on final choices.
• Confirm wedding-night and honeymoon reservations.
• Have a follow-up meeting or phone call with the officiant to go over ceremony timing and details.
• Do paperwork for official documents if you and/or your partner are changing your name(s).
• Work out wedding day timing and details (who will get the bride there, where the wedding party will dress, etc) and draw up a schedule.
• Get final prewedding haircut, if necessary.
• Call or email wedding party to relay critical info related to rehearsal and wedding (dates, times, directions, duties).
• Get a head start on thank-you notes if you can.
• Finalize any special preferences, readings, or other ceremony details with your officiant. Put it in writing if you can.

Two weeks out:

• Harass guests who haven't RSVP'd for the wedding and rehearsal dinner.
• Give final head count to the caterer. Confirm set-up instructions and menu items.
• Call location manager and make sure your vendors all have access to the site when they need it.
• Confirm head count, delivery time, and location with the cakemaker.
• Make extra sure that everyone who's helping you with the wedding gets a special, pointed thank you.
• Determine any wedding day assignments for members of the wedding party, and make lists/info sheets as needed.
• If you're doing a seating chart, figure it out now.
• Confirm all final payment amounts with your vendors.
• Confirm location, date, and time with photographer; create your "must-take" photo list.
• Touch base with your officiant and give him/her rehearsal details and wedding day schedule.
• Confirm delivery locations, times, and final arrangement count with florist.
• Make sure your partner has their wedding attire all ready to go and fitted.
• Fax transportation providers a schedule and addresses for pickups on wedding day.
• Prepare your toasts or thanks to friends and family.
• Distribute wedding-day directions, schedule, and contact list to all parents, attendants, and vendors.
• Designate who will meet, greet, and handle each vendor on the wedding day.
• Procure sedatives for night before wedding. Give them a trial run.

The week before:

• Put together an overnight bag for your wedding night (toothbrush, lube, condoms, meds, etc.) and designate someone to deliver it to the hotel for you.
• If you're the froofy type, get a manicure and pedicure and confirm big-day beauty appointments.
• Designate someone to collect the wedding gifts (and any cash) brought to the party.
• Confirm date, location, time, and playlist with band/DJ and/or ceremony or cocktail hour musicians.
• Leave a copy of your honeymoon itinerary with someone in case of emergency.
• Put final payments and cash tips in marked envelopes and give to a designated family or friend to distribute on the wedding day.
• Prepare a wedding day freakout kit (Tylenol, Claritin, makeup, safety pins, gum, Lara bar, etc.).

The day before

• Rehearse the ceremony with officiant and wedding party.
• Confirm all specific honeymoon travel plans (including transportation to airport, etc.).
• Assemble both your and your partner's entire outfits.
• Set your alarm and arrange for backup.
• Make sure your vows are memorized/practiced/noted down
• Take a sedative and/or any personal calming ritual. It will help you sleep.

Wedding day

• Set aside special time during the day to step aside and breathe for a few seconds.
• Confirm with people who you expect to give/lead toasts at the reception.
• Take a moment to thank your parents and tell them you love them.
• Relax, smile, and enjoy the day!

After the wedding

• Mail special letters and/or gifts to your parents and other special helpers to thank them for their help and support.
• Make sure all vendor bills have been paid in full.
• Find out when you can expect wedding photos and/or video.
• Within two months of your wedding, send all thank-you notes.