Married Life Post 1

So Jess and I do not post very often: our apologies about that. The thing is, there really isn't much to tell. And we're not even really out of the woods with wedding stuff yet: sure, courthouse part is done, and my name's been changed to "Therese Totten" (WHOA?!), but we still have yet to have our church ceremony in Manila and our original wedding that's now been slated to be a renewal of vows, in Austin, both for next year.

That being said, it's been a busy summer--wish it had been longer! :/ We did mostly prep for the church ceremony, much to Jess' credit. My mother-in-law(!) said, "He must love you to have done it!" Aw :) Fuzzy feelings! More specifically, we did Natural Family Planning that stretched out one night a month for three months; then we also did a weekend retreat. Jess wasn't too happy, but he did it; I've been on my share of retreats, so for me it was same old same old: hunker down and deal. And in the end, it was ok. There was even a mixed-race couple (no prejudice meant, but hey, that's what Jess and I are), so that was cool, and even cooler, it was also a Filipina lady and a Caucasian man--just like Jess and me, too! So hearing them share was quite nice. Besides Catholic requirements, I worked on my teaching certification, and worked some retail, but I'm not done with my requirements yet, so it's an ongoing process at this moment. And of course, the ongoing wedding planning.

So this summer, along with two friends, Jess and I used a Groupon deal to kayak the Houston bayou: kinda dirty and stinky (though not as bad as the Pasig River where I used to row in college), but worse when you fall in, which happened to me. Not cool, but we survived, with Jess' help, who went in after me, sweet man that he is. Jess and I also visited my relatives in Toronto (whom I haven't seen in years) for my cousin's wedding. Apparently, under my relatives' scrutiny, Jess passed with flying colors, yay! We also went to Galveston, my first time there, where we found the one-hour drive is a nice little getaway (from Houston) without being too tiring. I took a knitting class in my neighborhood too, but have yet to knit a pair of socks! I also got back into rubber stamps: I used to collect them along with stickers when I was younger, though back then I had no idea I could make stuff with it. But now, with a heat gun and embossing powder, I've got a few ideas up my sleeve, and I even send special embossed letters sometimes, so I think that's pretty neat :) It keeps me happy, and that makes Jess happy :) It's a slightly pricy habit though, oops! I also recently got into succulents. With our north and west facing windows, though, keeping them alive is the main challenge.

Now it's back to school, and that's more work--and some regular money, yay-- for me. I not only do assistant teaching in the classroom, but now I also do a computer ancillary class in the morning. So it's been a bit of an adjustment, but I'm hoping I'm doing alright, making some progress. My principal is talking about having me transform the class into more robotics work, and I talked to the guy in charge of the robotics club, and it sounds promising. We shall see. The teacher I help in the classroom gave me a form for an educator's discount (20%) at Barnes and Noble, and I got the discount, so I thought that was cool--ooh, educator = me, WHOA :) Jess still takes the bus to work at least once a week, or rides his bike, 12 miles each way, hoowee. And he still likes his job and has a friend who gives us fish, yay :)

I've been sick with allergies that turned to a cold that turned to a cough. Jess, his parents, sister and I went to the coast for Labor Day weekend, and while it helped, I was still pretty sick and phlegmy. Jess and I tried working out a few days ago, but it was just a bad idea, and I backslid. But I discovered Mucinex, and so far, with Dayquil, it's been a good thing. Now to get back to working out (ie kickboxing), hopefully soon!

I just feel that being married (coming to four months now, yay!), Jess and I don't do a lot, especially as most of my friends are in Manila while Jess' are in the US, so that with being more introverted, Jess and I just keep busy with chores and each other, which might be boring to most people. That being said, we do have some common friends, and I'm trying to branch out more and make some friends, though that's never easy and it can never be forced.

So what are weekends like for us? We go to the farmer's market when we can, and get groceries at a supermarket for what we lack from the farmer's market, then we look at shops when we can, or Jess gets a haircut or I get facial/wax/etc. We try to go out as a treat on weekends, whether it be a drink at a quiet bar, or try a new restaurant or go to one of the restaurants we already like. Sometimes we might even see a movie or go rock-climbing; this weekend, Jess is persuading me to try learning how to ride my bike again: the heat's toned down a bit so I just might. Then I also work retail, so that usually takes up my Sundays. Then I come home (or Jess picks me up, yay), we have dinner, he plays video games and if I'm not too tired I might do a video workout, tool around on the Internet, then before we know it, it's time to get ready for another week.

So this our life right now, and it's been working for us so far, touch wood! In the future, we are looking at getting a house with a good-sized yard (for fruits and vegetables and herbs!), some chickens, and a rescue pooch.

Our life in a nutshell: boring or not? You tell me :)

Married!

Yes, we are-- coming up to a month in 4 days, in fact. Wedding #1 of 3, and we agree, our official anniversary, just to simplify things. We also think Wedding #1 will have been the simplest, oh well, relish the moment, then, huh?

Sorry if we didn't mention this. Life has been quite the beehive.

We will write more soon.

A Slight Change in Plans

So the title says it all; there is a slight change. Nothing drastic, so keep calm (and carry on). The night my Mom was to take the flight from Manila to the US, she found out that her visa had expired, oh around a week ago. She tells me this over SMS and I kinda quietly freak out and go to the gym in a daze, and tell my aunt and Jess' parents. My aunt can't have her airfare refunded, so she found a cheaper hotel on short notice. Then my Mom scrambles for contacts in Manila, one being her diplomat-tenant who works at the Czech embassy. But US protocol is stricter than ever, barring family emergency (which, technically, this is): as of this morning, the earliest appointment she was able to get was for May 20--too late for anything this week. Then it'll take 4-5 business days to process. She is confident she'll be here by the 26th or 27th next week, though. I sure hope so, 'coz right after her call, I called Jess' parents and grandma, to move their reservation to next week (they agreed, for which I and my Mom are so very grateful). I emailed my aunt, and she moved her plane date (and canceled her hotel reservation as she will be staying with my Mom). I emailed my retail job, and they were so nice as to move my work day to this week instead of next week, so I can spend time with family and hopefully get married next week. I haven't heard from my principal, but hopefully I can take my chances.

Jess was very grumbly about the whole mad scramble, and I admit I almost lost it: I was depending on him to be my rock, and I told him that. So now we are trying to take it easy and avoid any unkind words. Jess' grandma said, "It could've been worse." And a colleague at work said "In the grand scheme of things, a week is nothing." True on both counts. But as the past 2 days have just left me all dazed and confused, I just want a resolution, the light at the end of the tunnel. So I ask for everyone's prayers: I hope this time around will work, 'coz yeah, it's got to. Lesson learned: make sure your visa is still valid before you leave! Here's hoping we get it this 2nd time around. May 28, 2010: keep your fingers crossed.

Wedding #1 of 3 in 5 days

So. Jess and I, standing in front of a judge, 5 days from today. Whoa.

It has been very busy for Jess and me, what with wedding planning and other family stuff, as well as matters at work. But with our upcoming civil/courthouse wedding in 5 days (!), I thought it best to spruce up the details on our registry, as people have been asking about it, so here it is: http://mousebee.mydagsite.com.

Jess and I really thought about it, and we really think a cash registry suits our needs best. We just hope this is not offensive to anyone. If you look at how it is set up, it states that there is no required amount you have to give, large or small, so whatever works for you, or even if it doesn't, that's fine, too. What's nice about this registry, though, is it gives some format, such as when we met, what we suggest as guest accommodations, etc. So I cracked my knuckles and typed away today. We hope you enjoy the end result. As much as it is a registry, it also has other information that you might like knowing, like how we met :) Since I updated that registry, I feel I owe it to everyone to update this blog!

Truly, I am not thinking about the wedding at this point, but the whole affair that comes with it. My birthday is in 3 days, and our civil wedding is in 5. My Mom is arriving in 2 days, and as she doesn't drive nor know Houston as well as we do, it is up to us to make her visit enjoyable. Also, the schoolyear is drawing to a close, at least at the school I work at--in 12 days, in fact. So yeah: a lot of things to think about besides getting married. But if I stop to think about it, this is quite a life-changing event. I don't know if it's going to be the biggest life-changer ever, as Jess and I have been living together for a bit over a year now, and commuting back and forth before that, but it is still a big deal: in the eyes of society, I will be connected to him, and he to me. It makes me think of what I've accomplished so far and deplore to think that I haven't gotten very far yet. I worry about how life will change after marriage, and I hope it won't change for the worse, if it will change (and it probably will). I hope that our love will only get stronger, our bond deeper over time.

I guess this also means that I will not be a single entity any longer. Most decisions I make (if not all), I should consult with him. We will be each other's person. I am not just responsible for me, but now, I should worry about his well-being, and act correspondingly, as well. As such, this is a responsibility, one I worry about being able to fulfill properly. I hope I will be able to do so: I take responsibilities seriously, and I like knowing what's going on. (As such, I don't trust easy)

Of course, this marriage business should not be taken lightly. I'm hoping our union will last, and that it will be a happy, loving one. I hope we will make each other happy. I truly hope this enterprise works. I just like being sure, but sometimes, I guess I just have to let go, and roll with it.

Here's to trusting, and taking the big leap into the Big Unknown Step called marriage.

A Registry is Born!

Hello, everyone!

I was on the interwebs and through Offbeatbride saw a cool website called Deposit a Gift: it is a registry site that lets you put whatever you want, essentially a cash registry. I think that's pretty sweet. Here's ours. It's mousebee dot mydagsite dot com.

Whee!

Back to regular planning.

The Here and Now

It's been a busy week for me and Jess. Over the weekend, we went to the farmer's market and saw baby goats(!) then went to a Japanese festival and an arts market: we saw sword and taiko drum demo's at the former, and had snow cones and a vegan burrito as well as saw anarchist books at the latter. We also went to a nice "Texan-Tuscan" restaurant called Stella Sola near us and had good food, crab carbonara being one of the dishes: phenomenal, if you can believe it! Oh, Jess also made rabbit stew today and it was good, though I cringed every time I would spit out a tiny bone. Oh, man: such are times when I think of becoming vegan again, though I recently bought some vegan books for brunch and baked goodies: I still like to think of veganism, and am still very open to it: in fact, I prefer to make vegan stuff. We've also been dipping our hand into growing herbs, and so far so good. We've got a tomato plant (but no tomatoes yet), rosemary, sage, basil, a pepper plant in our apartment, and oregano, dill, spinach and basil at the garden box below. In the future, I would still like to have chickens and goats to raise, maybe make my own kombucha and yogurt with Jess' help--grown your own, I strongly say.

We also went to city hall downtown today to apply for our marriage license, but it turns out that we applied for a marriage license too soon-- the period is 3-30 days, not 90! So we have to go back either end of April or beginning of May so that it's late enough for the license to still be valid for Jess' family's and my Mom's visit when we'll hopefully get it officiated (ie legally married May 21, 2010--my mom wanted my birthday but it was the middle of the week: this way, Jess' family can attend, and besides, I was told it might be safer to have it on another day besides a birthday), as well as bring the form we got from our marriage prep class. I was wrestling with it over the weekend: like this is real, and it's SERIOUS: as in not going out for dinner, or washing clothes, MARRIAGE, OK?! i.e. committing to spending the rest of your life (at least in theory and hopefully so) with one person, who is Jess! Am I ready? Do I want this? Can I do this? So I turned the tables and asked him (of course), and he said he still wants it. So I thought about it in turn, and yes, I think this is still what I want. I don't think no one will ever be ready for it, and if you are, you are either limiting it, or I don't know what! But some fear/trepidation is healthy, I think, as nothing is ever certain, least of all marriage-- sharing your life with someone else, and building dreams and a life together. So as long as you are willing to try and be committed, hopefully, this enterprise will work. I pray it will. I will try my best to trust in this (and trust is no small feat for me to do).

Apart from this, it's been work and work, with kickboxing classes at the gym in between to be fit and stress-free. By the way, the elementary school I work at in Houston, Garden Oaks Elementary, is back in the process for applying for a grant to be all-Montessori, so that's hopefully a good thing: after working at a Montessori classroom, I can't imagine going back to traditional setting, except maybe small groups for Special Ed, but even then. So with the potential grant, I hope I can apply for certification. I hope it works out!

As for this summer, I will probably stay in the US, for monetary reasons and just to relax before everything gets crazy. We're also planning to visit my Dad's side of the family in Toronto this summer for a wedding, so yeah. As much as I miss Europe, but I've already been to Asia this year, and that's a lot for my system as it is: I think it's best to stay sharp and stay in the same time zone for the coming school year, where hopefully I will still have a job!

I also got a copy of Food Inc (as well as signed their petition for better food in schools, woot!), and maybe Jess and I will watch it soon. I'm really excited to watch this Irish animated movie called "The Secret of Kells:" it's supposedly pretty good. I'm also lately into this mineral make-up called "Bare Escentuals." I ordered some and am really excited to try it. I dumped my old make-up as old stuff develop bacteria over time, so I said why not. I am also bidding on eBay as it can be cheaper, like Lululemon capris for working out: they are primarily a yoga company, but their fabric is so nice and flattering, and the colors are pretty too. I'm also looking into this brand of shoes advocating Barefoot technology without looking too extreme like Vibram Five Fingers, and they're called Vivo Barefoot by Terra Plana. And there's Skullcandy for music stuff, and maybe some Brooks and Moving Comfort/Her Room for physical activity, and maybe some Earth Shoes/Dansko/Simple Shoes in the future? Of course, there's always books/videos I am pining for on Amazon, as well as other things in other sites, but to each its own time, especially with my tiny salary! I sometimes lament to Jess that I like stuff too much, but hopefully that's normal, and hopefully I'm not too too much into getting stuff: I try to buy good stuff, but I try to limit it to what I really want, and for cheaper, if possible. That's what I actually told Jess in response to this video called "The Story of Stuff" of how it's an endless cycle of wanting something to working to get it then buying and repeat; I think it's fun to buy stuff and want things: I think it shows we're human: it helps the economy, too. However, I also do believe there is a limit, and if we can buy "reuse" by getting stuff from friends that they don't like but we do, or buying stuff from people (like on eBay) that they no longer like but we do, then it's kinda limiting the amount of excess stuff that's out there. There is that saying: "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I believe in that, and I believe that leads to a healthy economy of sorts.

As for wedding stuff, I still need to fix the invites, and the marriage license and am waiting on the dress here in Houston. But apart from that, we got the venue/food, the photographer/videographer; I have my birth certificate and baptismal certificate (yay!); we have definite ideas how to do our wedding favors, are working on the invites, the church's permission (especially as we're overseas and are a mixed-religion couple), and am still tweaking the flowers, as well as hair and make-up. As for jewelry, I'm hoping pearls will be ok with my Mom as Jess' abuela (maternal grandmom) is lending me her Panamanian mosquetas (pearl brooch and earrings). I've always wanted to wear pearls, and so what if pearls=tears: what if those tears are happy ones? So there. Hopefully I don't have to do doves too: poor doves, and hello potential bird poop on clothes! I'm still thinking about the bouquet: maybe I don't have to toss it (I would like not to), but Jess said I have to think of something as replacement as people are used to tradition: in place of the old, they need a new one.

So this is my news-tidbit/s thus far. I feel like the calm before the storm, though underneath it is a frenetic juggling act that bursts every now and then to make sure that we're still floating; I just hope that everything will be ok, and that it is so.

May this find you well.

Legal Stuff

So apparently getting my birth certificate is harder than it looks.

I need to have it notarized, unless I want to go to San Diego.

Then there's getting a marriage license in Houston. No blood test/medical certificate needed, nor witnesses, but the license must be procured 3 days-30 days before the ceremony, and couple must go together 30 minutes before the county office closes?

Then the ceremony must have a justice of the peace or a licensed/ordained Christian priest/Jewish rabbi. We don't have an officiant yet (for this or for the wedding), but Jess and I believe--at least for the wedding part-- that he/she must be someone we know personally, i.e. have personal history with. There's also the option to do it in Austin.

Then there's the name-changing deal. You have to have the post-ceremonial paper first, though.

Oi vey. I'm a bit confused.